Women Who Make Dating Difficult

all right I’m coach Cory Wayne this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be women who make dating difficult I’ve got an email here from a guy who says since he started following my work he’s dating several different women he says it’s completely changed his dating life however he’s got this one girl there’s always there’s one girl we really like seen things hey she could be great girlfriend material but the problem is is that she’s got kids and so she always has to arrange a babysitter so he basically writes in saying hey well I can’t really apply what you teach in your book regarding making definite dates and so what happens is she often cancels dates at the last minute because he’s always accepting maybe dates with her and then he waits and waits and waits Wow well I couldn’t get a babysitter sorry and so he’s like I really like this girl with the problem that he and this is what you see a lot of guys do and I used to do this myself it’s like when you really like somebody and they’re better than anybody else that you’re dating as far as your interest in them you do things like this you make excuses for them oh I can’t really apply what you teach in your book because this is a special case because this girl’s got something different going on but the reality is is I’ve dated plenty of women over the years I’ve written about women I’ve dated that have little kids the bottom line is if she really likes you she’ll find a fucking babysitter and if her interest is low if she can get a babysitter maybe she’ll go out with you and if she can’t Matt well it’s no skin off her back and they just act like they’re not really missing out on much and if you are familiar with my book then one of the women I did that I learned a lot from you can see different phases when I was dating her in the beginning how she was willing to clear her schedule and accommodate and then when I started screwing up because I thought things had progressed far enough along then she’s all sudden starts throwing all of my my daughter this I can’t get a babysitter and she’d make excuses and I would fall if I was like well that sounds kind of reasonable and I’m along with it for a while and then I realized this is ridiculous when I first met her she was willing the daughter was never an issue she never even brought it up and now when her attraction was low there’s always other excuses that play into it but when you really like somebody it’s no amount of you liking them and wanting them is going to make them want you back it’s either there or it’s not but you also have to be at a good negotiator now it doesn’t mean that if someone’s attraction level in you is lower than your initial attraction and them is that you can’t raise it up but you’re going to have to work a lot harder at it and part of his problem is now he’s violating principles that I teach my book and so he’s negotiating from a position of weakness and he literally at this point is enabling this woman’s behavior and he’s just inviting her to continue jerking him around because he doesn’t act like a guy whose time is very valuable so the way she treats him is kind of like hey if she can fit him in and get a babysitter and it’s not too much of a hassle she’ll go out with him otherwise me why would you want to spend your time with somebody that has that kind of an attitude well in his case because he obviously he’s fairly new to this stuff and this out of all the women that he’s been dating since he found out about my work this is the one he likes the most and you just see as I as I go through his email what he does the bullshit himself and justify this kind of behavior when he wouldn’t treat any of the other women that he’s dating in the same way he wouldn’t be as accommodating for these other one just because his attraction level is not there and the key is to get to the point where you have that balance where you find a nice sweet spot to where you negotiate for yourself but you’re also not willing to go out of your way to spend time with somebody who just acts like oh well if I got nothing better to do I’ll go out with you why spend your money and your time and your time is your most precious resource because we all have a limited amount of time and bottom line is once you spend an evening with somebody you can’t get that time back it’s gone forever so choose very carefully the people who you spend your time with because the quality of your life will be in direct proportion to the quality the people who consistently spend your time with if you’re consistently going out with people who you really like but they’re just not that into you you can be frustrated all the time and the more you continue dating people like that the more you’re going to attract other people like that in your life as opposed to just blowing them off when they don’t reciprocate the same level of enthusiasm that you have for them so I have a quote that I wrote and I’m going to go through his email and the quote says when people really place a high value on being with you they will make time and their schedule for you express enthusiasm about seeing you and be flexible in making themselves available to get together people who have high interest in you will make it easy to arrange dates even if it means that they have to move things around and their own schedule to accommodate you people who have low interest in you won’t go out of their way to accommodate your scheduling needs and will make you feel like not being able to see you isn’t anything that they’re missing out on the only way you’ll be able to attract and keep a high quality lover is if you only make time for people who act like they value what you have to offer and that’s the biggest mistake that this guy is making is that he’s simply ignoring the fact that she’s treating him like a second-class citizen but because he really likes her he’s putting her on a pedestal a little bit and rationalizing oh well she’s got a kid okay that makes sense so I’ll take the maybe date for Friday and then of course she texts him like Friday afternoon said oh gosh darn I couldn’t get a babysitter tonight guess we can’t go out well if she really wanted to see him and her attraction level was really high she’d invite him over and they could make dinner and hang out at her place but the bottom line is she’s not willing to do that because she just doesn’t place a high value on being with this guy so let’s go through his email he says hi Cory first off thank you for doing what you do I wish I had found this long ago as I have screwed up so many potential relationships like you have mentioned I swear it’s been programmed in me to chase and if they back off you need to chase more and do extravagant things like in the movies to show them that you care well if you ask most women when a woman is backing off or not returning your phone calls most women will say we can’t tell her how you feel you got to let her know that you really like her and you’re really interested and it sounds reasonable okay which just doesn’t know that I really like her yet this person’s not making any time for you is canceling dates the bottom line is women know that if you’re talking to them if you’ve got over and approached them you’re interested if you’re calling them to ask them out on a date they know that you’re romantically interested in that’s the reality but when you talk to female friends of yours most of they’re going to give you this kind of advice because they don’t want to say anything that your feelings I think oh yeah I just need to pursue a little more pursue a little harder do an extravagant date that’s what you see in the movies all the time spend a lot of money do something really extravagant ridiculous and then chilled know that you really care and women don’t care about how much you like them that has no bearing on their interest in you the only thing that they care about is how interested in you they actually are so no amount of you liking them excessively is going to do anything that make them like or want you more he says been like night and day when I actually apply your material is that interesting in other words when I apply your material works out great but when he doesn’t like in this case things don’t go so well and I’ve had I have had a lot of really fun experiences from what’s the whole point is to get have really great experiences so you have great memories having beautiful girls actually chase you makes you feel like a million – yeah makes it easy and effortless and as a man if you’re dating somebody and she’s calling or texting you a couple of times a week and you know you’re going to see her once or twice a week and you don’t even have to call or text or pursue anymore you just wait to hear from her because you’re three four weeks down the road and she feels safe and comfortable enough to do that a man makes you feel incredible there’s no doubt there’s no wondering whether or not you’re going to get together or she’s going to like you it’s just automatic and that puts a man totally in his masculine and that allows him to focus a hundred percent on his purpose and his mission in life because if you’re dating somebody that you’re constantly doubting yourself about your constantly strategizing okay I’m gonna color in this day and then hopefully she’s going to want to see me and we’re going to go here we’re going to go there when you have all that doubt it makes it really hard to focus on your mission and purpose but when you apply the things I teach my book and you start to see how women behave naturally I mean they literally become so predictable you can almost set your watch to it I mean that in a good way because it allows men to be efficient and be productive in their purpose and their mission in life instead of spending a large part of their emotional capital if you will worrying over whether or not things are going to work out with a particular woman that they’re dating the reality is when you meet somebody who has mutual high interest from the beginning as long as you don’t talk them out of it and you follow what I teach in my book because you read it 10 to 15 times they eventually will become your girlfriend and the more you go through that process the more that’s going to build your confidence and the more certain you’re going to become and the higher the quality of woman that you’re going to be able to date obviously if you’re a guy and vice versa if you’re a woman I’m dating a few women but one notice what he says here this is where he starts to go off the rails look I’m dating a few women but one shines out as a potential long-term girlfriend notice how it’s relatively new and he’s thinking girlfriend already but he doesn’t really know her well enough he’s not paying attention to the fact that she’s really not making much of an effort to accommodate him in her schedule she’s a single mom though so I am having trouble applying some of the techniques that you teach translation well because since she’s got a kid I’m just discarding all of it because it doesn’t apply well if you really knew the book I’ve dated many women that have kids and when they like you they get a fucking babysitter and when they’re not that into you if they can get a babysitter yeah they’ll see it because it’s better than staying at home looking at the four walls but they’re not going to go out of their way and then when you go out with those women on dates you have to work extra hard to keep a conversation going it’s just like you feel like you’re with an energy vampire and when you get enough experience dating women to a really high quality and really into you you just won’t waste your time with women like this she needs to set up a babysitter before each date I tried to steer the night back to my place almost every date what about her place if you’re picking up her up at her house maybe you can have a bottle of wine with you you know girlfriends that I’ve dated usually what happen is they would get a grandmother or a sister or a babysitter and take their kid over to that place instead of having somebody come over and watch the child so we could have some alone time some adult time but women are only going to do that when they really like you because they want some privacy in and some mommy time as well so they can be an adult as opposed to always having the kid there but if she’s not that into you she’s not going to go out of her way he says I try to steer the night back to my place almost every date but she usually has to go as she only has the babysitter until certain times well in that case if she’s coming over to your place you could invite her over to instead of you driving to pick her up have him she’s got she’s pressed for time have her come over and make dinner together and that way you can hang out and have fun and hook up but obviously she’s probably onto your act because your and a little robotic with things and she knows that you want to get in her pants and that’s why she conveniently uses the babysitter excuse to spoil your evil plans if you help she will only stay over if she sets up a babysitter for the whole night so she basically has to pre-plan that she will sleep with me so what I would do in this case if it really is that big of a deal to her just say you know what if you’re not sure why don’t you check with your babysitter’s and find out what nights you can definitely get a babysitter for and then get back to me and then we can make plans because I only got a couple open nights this week and I don’t want to be leaving my night open til the last minute just to have you say oh well I can’t get babysitter we’ll have to do it some other time because I’d much rather make plans when you definitely know that we can get together and then I can do something else when you’re not able to but you’re basically communicating to her you’re going to put your whole personal life on hold for a maybe and that is a violation of what I teach in the book because if you’re successful if a lot of women are interested in you if you’re a high-status high-value male who has lots of choices you’re going to spend your time only with women who really like you we think about you’ve got ten women that want to date you and you only have one or two nights a week where you’re available for a date whoever the hottest the most flexible the easiest to be with and the most fun to be with that’s how you’re going to make your plans with women like this they’re just not going to fit into your schedule so these women will never get past the first or second date but because he really likes her he’s turning himself into a pretzel to accommodate her and it’s not getting him anywhere except being sexually frustrated I’m trying to figure out how to be more direct and playful and tell her she should get the babysitter the whole night but our mindset when setting up the babysitter is usually not in that mood it’s usually midweek while at work we’ll just say hey what’s your schedule why not what’s your schedule like over the next couple of weeks why don’t you check with your babysitter’s and find out what days you can definitely get a babysitter for because I really like to see you look and then get back to me and we’ll make definite plans once you know what your babysitter schedules are like that would be an easier approach because the idea is to be direct decisive make a fucking date not leave things up in the air and wait for her to get back to you because in my book when you do exactly what this guy is doing it says you will get jerked around and I learned that the hard way over many many years of fucking up and so you really till be new to the work and you’re applying these things with other women but you’re making a special exception for this woman because she has a kid but really because you really like her but you’re ignoring the fact that she’s just not willing to go out of her way for you do you really want to spend your time with somebody that treats you that way I think not also I can’t make concrete dates as she first needs to see if she can get a babysitter that’s exactly why I would tell her figure out what night you’re free and that you can definitely get a babysitter for and then get back to me and then we can plan our next date that’s what I would say to her I would never say okay well Thursday and well I’ll let you know if I get a babysitter I’d say no no I only have a few days available this week to get together so why don’t you find out over the next two weeks let’s just say you know what let’s go out instead of this week because it sounds like your schedule is a little too up in the air so why don’t we plan on getting together maybe sometime next week but find out when you can get a babysitter for and on what night and then that way we can we can have four so from now we can make definite plans instead of me sitting around waiting till the last minute and then you just say oh well sorry I can’t I can’t see because I couldn’t get a babysitter that’s not fair to me and because my time is valuable to have you say that in a nice way she’ll understand it and if not so what if she’s willing to blow you off because of that she wasn’t that into you anyways he says so I set out exact times and days but she can’t say yes right away I need to wait to see if she sets up a babysitter again this is the exact opposite of what I teach my book and this is why you are getting jerked around because you were inviting her to jerk you around because this is this is a situation that is discussed in my don’t when you violate the principles you’re going to experience pain I can’t seem to apply I apply this one she said yes before without getting a babysitter and she ended up canceling as she could not get one well again if she really wanted to see you she was said hey I couldn’t get a babysitter but I’d really like to see you so why don’t just come on over we’ll hang out here you know my kids can we can put him in the other room they can watch some movies or some cartoons and we can make dinner together and have some fun great sounds like a great idea she was upset with herself for doing that sure I’m sure she was putting on a little bit of an act as well gosh it’s just gosh darn it I really wanted to see you darn it maybe next time and I think it’s in my best interest to wait as well rather than pressure her does that sound like a guy who’s dating and equal or does that sound like a guy who’s putting this woman on a pedestal kissing her ass and treating her like a celebrity bad way to go dude no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do you were literally begging her to jerk you around think about it if Brad Pitt was single I wanted to take her out but he only had one night he was available next week to see her she’d find a fucking babysitter she would figure that shit out that’s a reality and that’s what you’re ignoring she sometimes have a habit though of waiting a few days like up to one or two days before our date to tell me she has a babysitter and that’s just because she hasn’t decided whether or not she really wants to see you again that’s that’s low interest on her part I would why be an option in somebody’s life if you’re not a priority no way set your dates a week week and a half out and make her find a babysitter first and make definite plans at the babysitter and then you can make plans for your date instead of putting your whole personal life on hold just to get jerked around and blowing off at the last minute that’s just not cool you don’t get what you deserve in life you only get what you negotiate and you’re being a really shitty negotiator dude you’re acting like a guy whose time is worthless and that’s why she treats you like your time is worthless because remember people will behave consistently with who they view themselves to be whether that view is accurate or not are you behaving like a guy who values his time whose time is scarce and very valuable or are you acting like a guy who’s just begging somebody to spend time with them I have a hard time finding a good middle ground of how much to press here if I act like I don’t care and wait too long I start to feel like I’m letting her walk all over me by making me wait well you already are making her walk all over you or letting her walk all over you and inviting her to walk all over you because you’re putting your personal life on hold remember in the book what does it say well if you’re not sure your schedule why don’t you figure it out and get back to me in this case she’s got kids okay why don’t you figure out what days you absolutely definitely 100% can get a babysitter and get back to me and then we can pick a day and time that works for both of us as far as the logistics of sex don’t be a robot and always be trying to bring her back to your place if it’s getting in the way if she gets a babysitter and you want her to come over make dinner together then great have her drive to your place and you can do that and accommodate some time but if she’s going to come over to your house at 7:00 but then she has to leave at 9:00 I wouldn’t be making a date like that she says all well I have to leave by 9:00 say you know what I’d really like to spend some time with you instead of being rushed so let’s just do it another night when you can get a babysitter we can actually spend some quality time together you got to be willing to do the takeaway think about what you want what about your time if I press Iran and ask a few times I feel I come off as needy any advice here well I think I’ve I’ve covered it pretty much in detail what I would do and what I would change the approach but the problem is the real problem is is you’re violating the principles in the book and so there where you’re getting jerked around and that’s that’s his predict I mean you can set your fuckin watch to that I mean when I read through that it’s like he doesn’t see it but the bottom line he’s being a bad negotiator and he’s acting like a guy that really has nothing to offer like you’re literally begging somebody to spend time with you you don’t get what you deserve in life you only get what you negotiate so if you like to get my help personally the quickest way is to go to my website click the products tab at the top of page on any screen and my website or any page of my website and pick whatever option works best for you as far as coaching options and I will talk to you soon you

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *