First Date Tips For Men: 3 GOLDEN Nuggets of Advice

hey guys Michael Valmont here leading dating and self-development coach and today I’m going to be talking about the dreaded first date some tips for you guys on how to do well on your first band how to ensure it goes smoothly and it sells smoothly across that first date see cuz he’ll I know from my past experience I’ve had some horrible first dates and now my first days are just swimmingly enjoyable they’re really enjoyable they’re lots of fun and that’s how they should be they shouldn’t be this thing that you’re scared of will terribly nervous off there should be this organic natural and fun process for both you and the girl and that’s what the topic of this video is going to be about my first tip you guys is around organizing the first day I coach many guys and they one of the things that I hear from them is this oh this girl she seems interested in me like we’ve been texting back and forth for like one week maybe two weeks and like I’ve asked her out once but she turned me down and but it still seems she’s interested I just don’t know why she won’t go on the date with me tell me why and what I’ll say is this I’ll say give me let me have a look at your text exchange and then I’ll look I’ll flick through I’ll go to when what what kind of date you are star out for and it’ll be like let’s get dinner and plus watch a movie after on a Saturday night now the first thing to realize is that socially busy girls are going to have a lot going on on the weekends and asking girl out on the Friday or Saturday and definitely work I’ve had first dates on Fridays and Saturdays and you probably have as well but probably not the best idea but then asking on top of that a girl to go for like a dinner and a movie on one of those nights unless you’ve been dating for a while is a high commitment first date and that’s not really going to be conducive for the girl to say yes to she’s probably going to be busy so even if she is interested you’re not making it easy for you’re making it harder so let’s flip that around first date tips your first date should be a low commitment date and that should just be something whereby if you’re not getting on well she doesn’t like you she can politely excuse herself in the same way if you don’t like code you can politely excuse yourself as well so examples of low commitment first dates are going on a coffee going for a drink or a cocktail it’s just something whereby if you’re going if it’s going well you can continue the evening on if it’s going badly then it says no there’s no issue there you can kind of just play the excuse yourself and go about your business okay so first tip go for low commitment first dates and that’s preferably on like a Thursday Wednesday or a Tuesday my next tip is around conversational confidence so how confident are you in your conversational skills if you’re really confident if you’re like a 10 out of 10 on the confidence conversational confidence scale then you could go to a place where there’s very little external focus so a place where it’s just you and her across the table and you can draw her in and engage her with that beautiful linguistic skill that you have now let’s say you don’t have a lot of conversation with confidence and go to a place with some external focus so some external focus means that there’s always something going on that allows you to talk about what’s going on so an example is this an art gallery where you walk through the gallery still a low commitment first date though because she can go at any time and you can kind of wrap it up at any time as well but there’s always something going on so something that’s very complementary to that is take her to a place where you feel like you are the king where you have like a lot of power and knowledge and you feel really confident in your element so if you are like an art connoisseur and you really love art know a lot about it and but you’re not that confident in your general conversation or you’re dating conversation take her to an art gallery because in that way you can engage her and all the bits of art really demonstrate these positive qualities about yourself but also there’s that external focus too so the pressure is not just on you okay so conversational confidence if you’ve got a bit of lower conversational confidence go to a place with his external focus that could be a you know walk in the park that could be a bar with maybe comedy acts going on every so often it could be a particular cocktail bar where there is something kind of going on like a show or something else and it could be an art gallery there are multitude of different things that you could have places you can go to where there is an external focus okay so if you’ve got low conversational confidence go to a place with higher external focus and if you are on the flip side of that extremely engaging and captivating then go to a place where it’s just you and her across the table and you can engage her in that confident passionate conversation all right so my final tip for you guys is around leading if you are not leading you are being indecisive and indecision and indecisiveness or massive attraction killers indecision is a massive attraction killer so make sure on your dates you are leading when you first go up to her on a date go up to it give her hugs and kisses on the cheek and then say come with me this way okay grab a hand and then lead oh you don’t have to hold her hands right away just grab my hand the leader and say this way shows you’re confident in physically engaging her and it shows you know where you’re going and you know what you’re doing and the she’s in safe hands every girl wants to feel like she’s in safe hands and that idea of leading is a mentality so for example you’re on your first date it’s a low commitment first date like we’ve been talking about and it’s going really well two hours passes and then you’ll both kind of getting fidgety because you’ve been in the same bar for a couple of hours and you want to go out get some fresh air have you do you know where you’re going next do you know where you’re leading her next and that’s important do you know where you’re leading her max when you get to the next ball do you know what drinks you’re gonna order next or you going to be like I don’t know in that same way if if the date is going well where the first of second day and you want to bring her back to your place for dessert or sex then are you just going to be like outside the bar and she and you’re like what do you want to do now and she’s like I don’t know and then you’re like I don’t know what do you want to do I don’t know what do you want to do I don’t know what do you want to do and that like is the worst possible thing you can do and sometimes I’m working with guys I want to throttle them you know I’m observing and the things going really well with the girl or they’ve told me things are going well and then just sit there twiddling their thumbs at the end of the date because they show that indecision which is not masculine it’s not really what masculine energy is about masculine is about leading it’s about taking control making the girl feel really safe in knowing that you know what you’re doing and that you’re a safe pair of hands essentially okay so my three tips for you guys simple but so easy to implement the first tip is around low commitment first dates number two tip is around your conversational confidence and if you’re not that confident in the conversation go somewhere with more of an external focus and number three lead indecision kills attraction always be leading know where you’re going even if you don’t just pretend you do okay so those are my three tips but today write in the comments below any bad birthday stories you have or any other tips that you’ve got for first dates so that we can share them and I’ll be sure to write back to you so post your comments below thumbs up the video if you enjoyed it lots more to come so make sure you are subscribed otherwise you’re going to miss out share the videos – that really helps me out and I appreciate it and hit it hard I will see you guys soon

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